Tough Times

As I watch the summer fly by and I'm enjoying "most" of the moments I have gotten to spend with the kids, I'm reminded (by tragic events) that I need to cherish the good times with the bad. Sure we've had plenty of sibling rivalries, selective listening and times when I have felt I've needed a timeout, but overall it's been a blessing to have had another summer where I've been fortunate enough to stay home with the kiddos (which is a huge shout out to Matt for making this possible). Sadly, it is a horrible event that has reminded me how important it is to cherish the good with the bad. A family in our school district unexpectedly lost a child to illness at the young age of twelve.

It is such an extremely difficult loss not only for the family but the classmates, faculty, team members, church family, and the list could go on and on. I know this from personal experience. Something that many of our Minnesota friends don't know is that I lost a sister at a very young age to a car accident. She was 15 and I was 10. As a high school sophomore, she went to homecoming in Emmetsburg (a neighboring town) with her boyfriend. After the dance they went for a drive around the countryside where the tragic event occurred. The car hit a bridge on an unlit gravel road and landed in a ditch about 6 feet deep. The accident resulted in a broken neck for Amy which killed her on impact (considering her tolerance for pain was about as good as an albino tolerates the sun, this was a blessing) and her boyfriend, Tom, suffered a dislocated hip, broken jaw and many bumps and bruises. 

People are quick to wonder if alcohol was involved but no, my sister Amy was the perfect example of a "good kid" who was involved in many extra curricular activities in our small town. She was extremely faithful, always rooted for the underdog and was a great example for the kids in our community. As a 10 year-old, it was pretty special to have an older sister who was a cheerleader, a lifeguard, and had lots of cool friends. So how did a 10 year-old, my 14 year-old sister (her best friend), our college-aged brother and my parents manage to deal with the loss of our "Pretty Pink Rose"? It was a challenge for everyone. She touched the lives of so many people from Bible camp, the dock boys up north, and to cousins from Michigan to California. The community took the loss equally hard. Amy was a favorite among teachers, staff, elementary students and classmates. Her goofiness and concern for others were some of the more memorable traits. The best way for me to work through the loss was to talk about her, and we did this a lot! We had an in-home counselor come to our house weekly and anyone that wanted to was able to come and talk about our memories of Amy. This brought many people together. We laughed and we cried, we learned things about her we never knew and we found that we could all rely on each other. Sometimes all it took was knowing that I could go find one of her friends to get a hug, any time I was having a rough day. 

I hope the Misgen family can find comfort in each other throughout these tough times. I hope the NRHEG 7th graders can seek each other out when they're having a rough day or if they just want to talk about Markus. I hope the faculty can do their best to provide direction and understanding to those impacted by his loss. Most of all, I hope that everyone who needs the help, is willing to ask for it, whether it's in the middle of class, during a football game or at the end of a crazy week. It's too easy to let the emotions fester and build-up resulting in a negative outburst of some sort. It is the responsibility  the adults, no matter how hard it is, to be an example for these kids. Ask them how they're doing or if they need to talk, show them that it's okay to cry and be emotional and listen to them, even if they're not saying what they really want (or need) to talk about. Be an ear, a shoulder and a support system.  Admit that it's one of the toughest things you've ever had to endure but realize that it's tough for everyone and do the best you can to get through those days. 

Amy (aka-G'town's Pretty Pink Rose) and Tom
September 28, 1990

Fourth of July "Stay-cation"

Initially we thought that it would be a little bit of a bummer not going back home for the 4th of July weekend since we're so used to spending that time at "The Lakes" (for you non-Iowan folks that's Okoboji, Spirit Lake, etc.).  Instead, we planned a camping trip with some friends up here and we were looking forward to trying out a new campground.  Well, plans changed and instead we ended up having a pseudo-camping trip or rather, "stay-cation". It was a GREAT (LONG) weekend, making memories, meeting new people, and attempting to re-live our bounce-back easy younger years. I would just like to say that we all learned we are not in our early twenties anymore. Ugh! I need a few days to catch up from my stay-cation. I guess that's a good sign. :)

 

Anyway, it started out on Monday with an unexpected but great trip to a lake house with some friends. The night consisted of hanging out in the jacuzzi, tubing and having a few drinks. The kids had a blast and asked repeatedly, "When do we get to go back?"  Matt and I greatly enjoyed the relaxing evening and we continue to be floored by how generous so many people are in this community. Wednesday night we met up with our pseudo-camping family and played at the beach and watched the fireworks on one of the small, local lakes. It was a nice change up to the typical firework show. It is put on by the families who live on the lake. They put their own money into purchasing their own fireworks and each take turns shooting theirs off. Though it doesn't go as smoothly as a normal show, it lasted a lot longer. This was late night number 2 for the week and we still had a long way to go.

 

On Thursday we met up with our camping family in Blooming Prairie for the 4th. They have a car show, tractor pulls, parade, vendors, etc. We caught the last few minutes of the car show, just in time to see a friend take 1st place in his class. We spent the rest of the day eating "fair food" and waiting for the parade to start. Ninety degrees feels a LOT hotter when you have no shade, zero breeze and trying to tough out an hour and a half long parade. Needless to say, the lake felt pretty darn good after that long day. Our plan was to swing by the lake house again for a little while, then head home, grill out and watch St. Olaf's fireworks from our deck. It's a good thing we're flexible, because once we were welcomed by their family, there was almost no way we were going to be able to leave without eating, taking part in their family time and letting all the kids play. Every time we tried to leave we heard, "No, there's so much food, you have to stay and eat!" :)  That part probably felt the most like being at home. Whenever my mom throws together a party, it's always filled with so much food that everyone invited could eat for at least 2-3 days. So after another late night (that's the third one in 4 days---it's getting ridiculous right?) we enjoyed sleeping in and having no agenda Friday, well at least not until that evening.

 

We took Friday to spend a little time together as a family. We loaded the bikes up and heading to the Blazing Star Trail in Albert Lea. Elsie is always so dramatic when it comes to biking. She can never keep up and she spends most of the time complaining about how hard it is. A picnic lunch, a nice cool breeze and a promise to swing by Walmart to get her a new helmet was enough to keep her semi-focused. Due to obligations that evening, we didn't ride very far, which was probably a good thing because another LATE night was about to occur. The long-time principal/wrestling coach of our high school retired this year so our school board president threw a huge party in his honor. The ladies danced the night away while the guys chatted it up and held their ground close to the beer tent. It was a gorgeous night and their backyard is right on the lake which made it even more beautiful (and walking distance was definitely a plus, too!)

 

On to Saturday, another day of perfect weather and our 5th day of being out and about. I'm not sure we're going to recover anytime soon. We had a birthday to celebrate and did so with gusto. Bean bags, a homemade slip-n-slide, bocce ball and ladder golf filled the afternoon. It's a miracle that none of the kids ended up with major injuries from the slip-n-slide but they had a blast. There were times when all 17 kids were on it and I'm so disappointed I didn't get any pictures throughout the day. We spent the night by the bonfire playing silly games, telling stories and cracking jokes. So in the end, it truly was like spending the entire week camping. We were barely home, spent all day going, going, going, met lots of new people and became more acquainted with others.

 

We are extremely blessed to have found such an awesome community and great people to spend our time with. We've had a few discussions lately about the variety of people that we have met and how each "group" has their own awesome traits. Everyone is fun in their own way and we wouldn't trade that for the world. We wish we had more time to spend with everyone and still manage to make time to get back home to catch up with family and friends there, too. Now that summer is nearly half over, it's time to slow down and not take these days for granted.