It is such an extremely difficult loss not only for the family but the classmates, faculty, team members, church family, and the list could go on and on. I know this from personal experience. Something that many of our Minnesota friends don't know is that I lost a sister at a very young age to a car accident. She was 15 and I was 10. As a high school sophomore, she went to homecoming in Emmetsburg (a neighboring town) with her boyfriend. After the dance they went for a drive around the countryside where the tragic event occurred. The car hit a bridge on an unlit gravel road and landed in a ditch about 6 feet deep. The accident resulted in a broken neck for Amy which killed her on impact (considering her tolerance for pain was about as good as an albino tolerates the sun, this was a blessing) and her boyfriend, Tom, suffered a dislocated hip, broken jaw and many bumps and bruises.
People are quick to wonder if alcohol was involved but no, my sister Amy was the perfect example of a "good kid" who was involved in many extra curricular activities in our small town. She was extremely faithful, always rooted for the underdog and was a great example for the kids in our community. As a 10 year-old, it was pretty special to have an older sister who was a cheerleader, a lifeguard, and had lots of cool friends. So how did a 10 year-old, my 14 year-old sister (her best friend), our college-aged brother and my parents manage to deal with the loss of our "Pretty Pink Rose"? It was a challenge for everyone. She touched the lives of so many people from Bible camp, the dock boys up north, and to cousins from Michigan to California. The community took the loss equally hard. Amy was a favorite among teachers, staff, elementary students and classmates. Her goofiness and concern for others were some of the more memorable traits. The best way for me to work through the loss was to talk about her, and we did this a lot! We had an in-home counselor come to our house weekly and anyone that wanted to was able to come and talk about our memories of Amy. This brought many people together. We laughed and we cried, we learned things about her we never knew and we found that we could all rely on each other. Sometimes all it took was knowing that I could go find one of her friends to get a hug, any time I was having a rough day.
I hope the Misgen family can find comfort in each other throughout these tough times. I hope the NRHEG 7th graders can seek each other out when they're having a rough day or if they just want to talk about Markus. I hope the faculty can do their best to provide direction and understanding to those impacted by his loss. Most of all, I hope that everyone who needs the help, is willing to ask for it, whether it's in the middle of class, during a football game or at the end of a crazy week. It's too easy to let the emotions fester and build-up resulting in a negative outburst of some sort. It is the responsibility the adults, no matter how hard it is, to be an example for these kids. Ask them how they're doing or if they need to talk, show them that it's okay to cry and be emotional and listen to them, even if they're not saying what they really want (or need) to talk about. Be an ear, a shoulder and a support system. Admit that it's one of the toughest things you've ever had to endure but realize that it's tough for everyone and do the best you can to get through those days.
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| Amy (aka-G'town's Pretty Pink Rose) and Tom September 28, 1990 |
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